Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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