Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
