I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
false alarm. still invincible.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
