have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I die, sorry about rent.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
