I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize