grandma shit on top of the toilet
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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