Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
