I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
