Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
