i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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