This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
