I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
