so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
