Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
