the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
