I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it because I queefed?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
