i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
