quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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