We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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