I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize