Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
