omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
