we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
