so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
