you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
