I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize