Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
