She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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