bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
