everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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