hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize