I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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