some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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