i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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