I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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