I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
