i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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