Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
