Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
