I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So much Jack, so little girl.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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