A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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