No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
