Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
