take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
