Got a toothbrush?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He did a backflip because drugs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
