at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
