Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
