Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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