Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
