yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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