I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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