problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
