Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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