U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize