I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
