The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize