Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
