hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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