Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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