Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
